Mauricio

-Have you ever wished you'd go to bed and not wake up, sir?

-Why, girl, have you never thought of that? I'm just being honest.

-Your doctor sent you here. He says you're depressed.

-Now, why would he say that?

-You don't know? You really don't think you're depressed?

-I'm not depressed. I'm normal. I just wish I'd die. You see, my life's a joke.

I am half blind, my eyes aren't good anymore and my brain makes up things to fill in the gaps where they can't see. I see things that aren't there. Yet I am not hallucinating. I know what is real and what is not. I'm an old creep with no family and no friends.

I'm just home alone, wasting time, waiting for things to end. Maybe I should make myself useful, find some work to do. But I can't get no job like this. They won't hire a blind old man. I got no social security, no cash, no comfort at all. No one is ever here to help; nobody cares. My life is useless. Why would I not want to die?

-Do you have a plan?

-Well, I keep a rope in my apartment and I've thought about hanging myself from the shower. Because that's in, you know? Cool people have done it. I just don't know... I guess I've been too tired to try.

Or do you mean plans for tonight? No, I don't have a plan.

-Why are you tired? Are you not sleeping well? Are you eating?

-Girl, I live by myself; sometimes I cook but my cooking is crap and the food is so awful I can't come to terms with eating. So I just toss it in the trash and go to my bed. Then I want to sleep, but there's a pounding in my heart that won't let me. Or a ghost by the chair. Then I want to drink alcohol, but I don't. Sometimes I sit in the sofa and space out. And I then I figure I took a very long nap, because the last thing I remember was the sun being out but by the time I look up again, it's dark.

-I'm glad you're here today, sir. We are going to help you.

-Help me with what, girl? I can tie my own noose, you know? Don't you worry about that.