Body Image

Having a BMI of 19 is never easy

people don´t see you as people.

You are just a picture.

"It is always nice to see you"

Yeah, I can't say the same, fucker

and this dress was the cheapest, you know?

People always approaching 

for the worst reasons,

people always "worried" that you are "sick"

I am not sick, bitch, I am just skinny

and what do you care, anyway?

Though it is always fun to try on

oh so many clothes

getting all the unrequested privilege.

It is like being set up for fame and failure at the same time.

On the other hand, "Mildly Overweight" does not age gracefully

and the final sales are not your size anymore

and people talk about how much weight you've gained

and your doctor says you are prediabetic and have high blood pressure.

And it is almost mandatory to wear a bra

and you don't know your exact size anymore,

you're too afraid too measure

and to share your photos

with double chin, big belly, your flabby arm

-nobody cares, but you always belive they do-.

Nobody cares, but if they do, fuck them, just in case.

It is not your job to look pretty.

And if you don't love your reflection in the mirror,

then you know you are wrong.

I spent most of my youth as a size zero, 

I could not wrap my head around the idea of being a size ten.

I'd see the clothes and believe they were too big for me,

but they'd fit just right when I tried them on.

I got tired of feeling tired

of not fitting into my old clothes,

so I started doing something about it.

Seeing myself more tall than wide

once more in my life, was a victory.

I am still not quite myself

I may never be 

but I am getting much closer

to the body I believe I am.