Natural phenomenon

You swaddled in labia

Wrapped in clear milk

Pounding like a heart 

Flickering like the flame from the stove

Rocket high while ocean deep

Darkened

Breathing hard

Blue 

Pressed to a breast and bones and skin

Draped in my hair

A localized earthquake

Mumbling in lost tones in cetacean

Held together like my life

Birthday baby

 The gift is you being here and now

Sonriendo, llena de vida

Con tu carita bella

With your highlighter and that expensive lipstick

The gift is your life

Y los ratos en que lavas trastes 

Y cuando cocinas para mí 

Y cuando duermes también. 

 A simple girl

I would have never imagined. 

Tan bella y única. Mi única bebé 

I love you, baby

Happy birthday. 

Grandeur

 This life is grand

Your love is big, you know?

I end up fatigued, dizzy, light-headed

By midnight I'm done and in my bed

So hyped up I cannot sleep

With two legs I cannot stretch

Always chasing after the next catch

I'm in a hotel balcony

For once heaven does not seem so far

I'm with him and I'm with her

I paid for breakfast, lunch and dinner

I did it because I can

A landlord, the kingpin of this home

I'm unwilling to be with the unworthy,

So here I am by myself

In this zenith of life where I hold them

In love

In our day to day

I'm listening, sweetheart

I'm yours.

I'm almost in love with myself.

 

Domestic affair

Take me one day at a time

grumpy

naked 

unprepared

barely awake

irrational

by bulk

starting everywhere

to never end

yelling at yet another house chore not done today

hysteric

horrified at my reflection in the mirror

mesmerized by your smell

scolded by my own daughter

bored by the same food

drawn in by your taste.

Take me away

make this while be worth

love me as much as I never could

as much as I love you unadmittedly

as long as you're keeping me alive.

 

202007

My body is achy.
It's foreign and dull
It's made of popcorn and paper
Brittle and frail.

And it feels like I'd like to pause and not be, because this thing here is not life. Life is supposed to be trees and rain showers outdoors, long walks; not a bent spine. This is not my life.

But my body is busy right now making money.
Maybe I can check in with myself later.
Maybe I'll find another way
Now that I ended up constructing this into love.
But who knows and who cares, anyway.

I'm busy right now.
I love you.
Sometimes it's hard to see through  myself.

Placer y dolor se entrelazaban en un solo aullido bajo, ronco, ahogado por su propia mano, mientras la de él la tomaba de la carne, o la apretaba del cuello, una sola mano es suficiente para atraparla como avispa en una tablilla de disección, inmovilizada, con una mano le rodea el cuello apenas tocándole, cuidando la fragilidad de ella, su pequeño cuerpo liviano.

En cambio, él todo un gigante, sus manos peligrosamente grandes, tan tibio y suave pero enorme, como una frazada reconfortante pero enorme, todo liso, agradable, firme, inofensivo solo, como un gigante gentil; como se les habla a las plantas cuando se quiere que crezcan. 

Nadie mejor que él. Tan cuidadoso. Al menos hasta que se olvida de todo y olvida su tamaño.  Entonces ella es un avispa atrapada, prendida en la piel caliente de él. Y el mundo se arregla en suspiro. Y todo está bien. 

0303

So here I am, looking at somebody else's travel photos.
Looking at somebody else's husband,
Seeing lovely food I won't be eating.

I miss the time when I was yearning.
When looking ahead in the horizon distracted me from seeing this decomposed joke of my life.

No more time for brooding
Back aches plague me, my bones claiming the right to move and to be in the sunlight.

Why am I too tired to dream?
All the "pretty" and "sweet" is faded,
all pleasure's gone away.