Silver lining

Starting my sick morning

Bitten by anxiety

Feeling like I am always late for something

Believing that everyone else's needs are more important than mine

My heart beating ever faster to try and keep up with the madness

Believing all the bullshit I have been fed

Like I did not deserve a moment to myself

Never earning sympathy

Believing I am worth just as much as I make

Sweating every cent

Vacations out of the question 

Trying to crawl back to my bed

Trying to cheat the system 

But then, one day this is all going to break up 

I will go back to myself. 

I am enough. 

Dunes

I am dry as the dessert

Cold as the night

May the sun take away all my sorrow

As it dips behind the dunes

May my heart beat again out of my chest

Between my legs

I am soft, quiet dessert

My skin is sand

I move with the wind

My moan so low it is inaudible as the wind howls. 

You can not hear me.

You can not see me.

But you can feel me.

I am the sansdstorm. 

I am not what I was when you started touching me. 

I am the infinite spotless dark sky. 

Emptiness in my eyes. 

But I smell like morning every day. 

May the sun rise on me one more time. 

I swallowed you. 

I am the dessert. 

Panda

I am paper that got wet

My body brittle and tender

My soul sore.

I damn well know I shouldn't be doing this

Yet here I am doing it anyway.

I miss the person I thought I was.

I am a Panda bound toward extinction and I need saving.

I am rare and unique in my own voice.

I haven't found myself.

I need you to understand me so that you can explain me. 

I need your love and compassion. 

I need you to hug me through the night. 

I will give you a kiss and everything I am

Though I don't know if that is anything at all. 

Soft cookie

I thought he was just too green. But he is really so vanilla.

It is nice for a while, but then it tends to boredom. Or maybe I am a freak. A pornstar wanna be.

I wanted him to lick my ears, my neck, give me the chills. I wanted to implode into myself and then explode out of this world.

He shall be my dirty gentleman. He'd pull me towards him, invade my space with his smell. Pull my hair as I stroked his. 

He would give me a quick kiss on my lips instead, like we were fucking fourteen. And he may be at heart. But I am too old for that. 

Have you seen it?

 Is it dark here? Or is it just me?

I can't shut up just yet

But I am so tired.

I wish I could afford my time.

Lost my life and can't find it back. 

Makeup minutes

I earned my right to paint my smile

Because if I didn't, I would not have a smile at all. 

Behavioral

And when I try to listen to my own voice I have to be very quiet

But it's sometimes scary 

To meet my broken self

And see the red live wounds that just won't heal

It is scary to face myself 

And knowing that I'd never make it on my own through the thin curtain of acid rain 

I tend to call 'My Everyday'.