miércoles, 23 de noviembre de 2022

Pichu


 I know there are many cats out there:

Some are orange, others are stripped gray, elegant black, like little panthers, fluffy white... But Pichu is a special cat. Because she is my cat.

She has beautiful green eyes and very long whiskers. Her coat is fluffy warm, with white, orange and black hair. She has long, soft legs that seem to be fashioned from the finest plush. With gummy paws at the bottom, that I could play with all day. 

She has the heart of a scientist: always doing her research, because she is so curious. She learned how to go out of the house when she was bored, jumping out of the window from the second floor or sneaking through a hole in the mosquito mesh at the first floor. She would sneak in the kitchen and steal some food when nobody was looking and sometimes she would even hide her food under Andrea's bed, for later. She learned to knock down cups that were half full, so that she could drink the liquid. She was always ready when it was lunch time and she would call Andrea and bring her out of her room to the kitchen table to eat together as a family.

Pichu likes to go out with her friends. She wishes they could go to a kitty pizzeria for and eat together. I bet she'd order a cherry cola. Pichu looks like a white cloud against the blue sky when she is resting on the edge of our patio wall. She waits patiently under the sun until her favorite neighbor cats come looking for her. They all have fun playing tag.


domingo, 13 de noviembre de 2022

Foto

 Dices que me burlo de ti porque me mandaste la foto de tu cara y puse el emoji 🤣🤣🤣

Pero no sabes que solo estaba tratando de replicar la expresión, tan enigmática como divertida, de tu rostro que resalta en el fondo obscuro de tu habitación.

En donde estás tan lejos de mí. A miles de millas, bajo otro cielo, en otro clima, en otra realidad.

Dices que me burlo, pero no sabes cuánto te extraño. Cuánto desearía verte, no solamente en una foto, sino entre mis manos. No sabes cuántas veces he sentido que se me nublan los ojos cuando te siento lejos. Cuando sé que lo estás pasando mal y no estoy para ayudarte...

Y lamento no haberte dicho lo que te digo siempre: que estás muy guapo, que me gusta mucho tu foto. Dices que ya te lo he dicho -soy muy repetitiva-pero aun así ¿necesitas que te lo repita para que te sientas seguro?

Es verdad: te ves guapísimo. Me encanta tu foto y tu sonrisa. Gracias por mandármela. Gracias por hacer el esfuerzo por hacer una pose diferente. 

Y yo 

Yo necesito tu foto. 

Para sentirme segura. 


Necesito ver tu cara. Tus ojos. Necesito saber que te importo y que estás pensando en mí. Tu foto va más allá de un momento, de un detalle: es un poco de ti, mi amor. Al menos algo que puedo tener hoy. 


lunes, 7 de noviembre de 2022

Nov. 7th - 8th, 22

 You are a dot on the map. 

But as long as you keep moving, I can breathe easy. 

And then you send me a voice note, which I don't hate because I miss your voice. 

You rode from dawn til dusk and into the night by the lunar eclipse

Leaping through my phone

Nested in my mind

Like the eccentric light beam that you are. 

domingo, 25 de septiembre de 2022

Abridgment




Listen to Abridgement.m4a by Raine (Johana Denisse) on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/QY4av 


I just wish for her to be happy.

They sold me this lie of "It's never too late".

How I wish I would have healed earlier

Before her time

And they keep saying "Love is enough" 

"Love will find a way" 

But that doesn't take away the scars. 

I see those photos from a few years ago where she is smiling 

I only want to see her smile 

Even if it is too late to make amends

Even if the happiest stories are not always the best

I just wish for her to be happy

And that is all I want. 



Birthmark

 When I first met you I could not understand your face

I believed there was a shadow under your right eye. 

Those eyes, the most captivating clear brown eyes I'd ever seen and I could see a little bit through them and they are fascinating. 

I could not trace your jaw bone beneath your thick beard. 

And your long, black hair was gathered in a braid. 

I could not believe your tiny mouth with those minimal lips, one hidden under your mustache and the other you were biting with those large teeth you were barely showing but kind of hiding. 

I imagined what it would be like to feel them. And your hands. Your thick, white neck. How it would be warm when I leaned there. 

Almost ten years later you are still a mystery to me in so many ways. Even though I have been the guardian of your life since, and you are are now part of mine, wrapped deep within my psyche in my fondest, dreariest, most unique memories.

And so here you are. How much more can I love you? How real are you, after all? 


jueves, 8 de septiembre de 2022

Mute

 I need to talk. Yet, I don't feel like talking.

I is such a big word now. Filling up a large part of the paper. And I need it small. I need this I to become small.

I need to go now where I've been planning to go. See new sights.

And it's best to think about which skirt goes with which blouse and which shoes. And become oblivious to the things in life that give me stress. Get my hair and nails done.

Put beauty before my eyes. Feel what I want to feel.

I need to talk. But I don't want to bother you with my low mood. So I am just writing here; am staying here for a while, acknowledging this deprived feeling. I'll try and rest later.

And then I may be able to talk to you tomorrow. 

domingo, 24 de julio de 2022

Future

I am far beyond gone now.

There is nothing here that speaks to me. 

Us, and perhaps our future. 

Rootless. Futureless.

Old ties broken long ago and now it is only you and my daughter. 

But children are not ours. We have them on loan for a while. Then they go and find thir own way.

So I guess that makes it just you and me.